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How i'm feeling today, well I'm hearing some Pandora, and yeah as everyone else, wishing he was home, at this point it's hard not to hear him 24/7, I use to talk to him regularly before we parted, and before I moved. Let me tell you moving on to someone new or at least at this point trying to, is harder than what it seems, i don't shift so quickly from person to person, plus I've been with this man for 6 1/2 years, known him for 8 years total, he's basically all I know at this point, ever heard that saying "Never know what you have till its gone", yeah that's how I'm feeling at this moment, we stopped being together for reasons I'll later explain in another post of "My love that happened behind prison walls", no we didn't met as me being a guard, as someone may always seem to think, I'm just someone just like you, a person, but I know a few guards who have, and I don't judge, but besides the missing him, it's also been hard to admit to myself, I'm still in love and the sound of his voice still makes me smile & feel those butterflies, I don't feel with anyone else. Know that feeling you get just thinking of your crush from high school, yeah that's how this man makes me feel, I spoke with him yesterday just for a brief moment till I heard, "You have one minute left", yeah the lady EVERYONE hates, but I wont lie, best minute I know I'll have this whole week, I'm past everyone's judgement, when I was young 18 years old when I met him, I let lots of people determine our relationship, from my family to his, that in the long run carried on into out broken relationship now, I'd be telling lies if I say we're not trying to fix it, rather we end up as friends or back in a relationship only time will tell, he's more than ready to be back with me, but I'm more of the one ready for the jump, but I keep pulling back, not scared of missing time, just scared to have my heart torn the way it was, something small to many others,was something major to me, yeah, but I'll stop on those feelings, cause I'm sure as you can read the emotions are still hurting, but I'm slowly trying to heal, but yeah I miss his touch and his encouragement to push me when I feel the world has dropped its weight on me, he completes me, he's my better half, after I post this I'll put on some slow jams, and begin to write him on Jpay, well this is all my readers, I'll post more tomorrow, I'm going to grab my cell and write to him, so he can have mail tomorrow, everyone knows how important that is, so I better get the ball, goodnight, my lovely readers & remember stay strong, even when you feel weak!